After you talk to a team member about performance or behavior, he or she should leave the meeting thinking about what they will do differently. Nothing else.
Prepare and conduct your meeting to eliminate distractions, deliver helpful, coaching feedback, and offer workable suggestions. Clarify your expectations. Solicit reactions and understanding. Then, when your team member leaves the meeting, he or she should be thinking about how to do things differently.
Remember: After the meeting, they should be thinking about what to do differently, not how you treated them.
This is only one of 347 tips in my ebook, Become a Better Boss One Tip at a Time.