We’ve all known a jerk or two in our time. I’ve known my share and, truthfully, I’ve acted like a jerk more times that I would like to admit.
It’s easy to be a jerk. And the higher you climb on the org chart, the easier it gets. Maybe that’s why there are so many jerks in business these days.
My mother used to tell me that she didn’t care if I grew up to become a ditch digger, but if I did, she wanted me to have the deepest hole and the neatest pile of dirt. It’s in that spirit of mastery in all things that I offer ten ways you can become a master jerk.
Give monologues instead of having conversations.
Make decisions without soliciting ideas or input from anyone.
Be sure to tell people all the reasons their ideas won’t work.
Steal other people’s ideas.
Blame team members for any failure. Extra credit if you describe how things would have gone well if they’d just listened to you.
Take credit for any team success.
Be sure to check your computer monitor and cell phone whenever anyone talks to you. Look at them while the other person is talking.
Master the art of the withering insult.
When someone does make a mistake, call attention to it publicly. If you can add a withering insult to the public shaming it will be even more effective.
Those are nine simple rules you can follow, but it might be hard to remember all of them. Good news, though, you only have to remember the next rule and the others will come naturally.
Always, always put yourself and your desires, goals, and status first.